Communications
Guidelines
Proverbs
18:21; 25:11; Job 19:2; James 3:3-10; 1 Peter 3:10; Ephesians 4:25-32
1.
Be a ready to listener and do not answer
until the other person has finished talking.
He who answers before listening-- that is his folly and his
shame. (Proverbs 18:13
NIV)
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone
should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow
to become angry. (James 1:19 NIV)
2.
Be slow to speak. Think first! Don’t be hasty with your words. Speak in such a way the person can
understand and accept what you are saying.
A man finds joy in giving
an apt reply-- and how good is a timely word! (28) The heart of the righteous
weighs its answers, but the
mouth of the wicked gushes evil. {29} The LORD is
far from the wicked but
he hears the prayer of the
righteous. (Proverbs 15:23,
28, 29 NIV)
A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good
news gives health to the bones. (Proverbs 15:30 NIV)
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone
should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become
angry. (James 1:19 NIV)
3.
Do not go to bed angry. Each day clear
offenses of that day. Speak the truth, but do it in love. Do not exaggerate.
Instead, speaking the
truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is,
Christ. (Eph 4:15 NIV)
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and
speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.
(Eph 4:25 NIV)
But now you must rid yourselves of all such
things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your
lips. (
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for
tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
(Mat 6:34 NIV)
4.
Do not use silence to frustrate
the other person. Explain why you are hesitant to talk at this time.
When words are many, sin
is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. (Prov 10:19 NIV)
The heart of the righteous weighs its answers,
but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil. (Prov 15:28 NIV)
The wise in heart are called discerning, and
pleasant words promote instruction. (Prov 16:21 NIV)
A wise man's heart guides his mouth, and his lips
promote instruction. (Prov 16:23 NIV)
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but
delights in airing his own opinions. (Prov 18:2 NIV)
Gold there is, and rubies in abundance, but lips
that speak knowledge are a rare jewel. (Prov 20:15 NIV)
Let your conversation be always full of grace,
seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer
everyone. (
5.
Do not become involved in
quarrels. It is possible to disagree without quarreling.
Starting a quarrel is
like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out. (Prov 17:14 NIV)
Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning,
but a rod is for the back of him who lacks judgment. (Prov 10:13 NIV)
Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in
orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and
debauchery, not in
dissension and jealousy. (Rom 13:13
NIV)
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger,
brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. (Eph 4:31 NIV)
6.
Do not respond in uncontrolled
anger. Use a soft and kind
response and tone of voice.
A patient man has great
understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly. (Prov 14:29 NIV)
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh
word stirs up anger. (Prov 15:1 NIV)
Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a
gentle tongue can break a bone. (Prov 25:15 NIV)
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise
man keeps himself under control. (Prov 29:11 NIV)
"In your anger do not sin": Do not let
the sun go down while you are still angry, (Eph 4:26 NIV)
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger,
brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. (Eph 4:31 NIV)
7.
When you are wrong admit it and
ask for forgiveness,
and ask
how you can change.
The way of a fool seems
right to him, but a wise man listens to advice. (Prov 12:15 NIV)
All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but
motives are weighed by the LORD. (Prov 16:2 NIV)
Gold there is, and rubies in abundance, but lips
that speak knowledge are a rare jewel. (Prov 20:15 NIV)
All a man's ways seem right to him, but the LORD
weighs the heart. (Prov 21:2 NIV)
"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at
the altar and there remember that your brother has
something against
you,{24} leave your gift there
in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled
to your brother; then come and
offer your gift.{25} Settle
matters quickly with your adversary who
is taking you to court. Do
it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the
judge, and the judge may hand
you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison.”
(Mat 5:23-25 NIV)
So watch yourselves. "If your brother sins,
rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.
(Luke 17:3 NIV)
Therefore confess your sins to each other and
pray for each other so that you may be healed.
The prayer of a righteous
man is powerful and effective. (James 5:16 NIV)
8.
When someone confesses to you,
tell him you forgive him. Be sure it is forgiven and not brought up to the person,
others or yourself.
He who covers over an
offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close
friends. (Prov 17:9 NIV)
Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave
you. (Eph 4:32 NIV)
Bear with each other and forgive whatever
grievances you may have against one another.
Forgive as the Lord
forgave you. (
Above all, love each other deeply, because love
covers over a multitude of sins. (1 Pet 4:8 NIV)
9.
Avoid Nagging
When words are many, sin
is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. (Prov 10:19 NIV)
The wise in heart are called discerning, and
pleasant words promote instruction. (Prov 16:21 NIV)
A wise man's heart guides his mouth, and his lips
promote instruction. (Prov 16:23 NIV)
He who covers over an offense promotes love, but
whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
(Prov 17:9 NIV)
A fool's lips bring him strife, and his mouth
invites a beating. {7} A fool's mouth is his undoing, and his
lips are a snare to his soul. (Prov 18:6-7
NIV)
Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome
and ill-tempered wife. (Prov 21:19 NIV)
A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on
a rainy day; (Prov 27:15 NIV)
10.
Do not blame or criticize others. Instead. restore...encourage...edify.
Therefore let us stop passing
judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any
stumbling block or
obstacle in your brother's way. (Rom 14:13 NIV)
Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who
are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch
yourself, or you also may be
tempted.
(Gal 6:1 NIV)
Therefore encourage one another and build each
other up, just as in fact you are doing. (1 Th 5:11 NIV)
11.
If someone verbally attacks,
criticizes or blames you, do not respond in the same manner.
Do not repay anyone evil
for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. (Rom 12:17 NIV)
When they hurled their insults at him, he
did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats.
Instead, he entrusted
himself to him who judges justly. (1 Pet 2:23 NIV)
Do not repay evil with evil or insult
with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so
that you may inherit
a blessing. (1 Pet 3:9 NIV)
12.
Try to understand the other
person’s opinion. Make allowances for differences.
Accept him whose faith is
weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. (Rom 14:1 NIV)
Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To
his own master he stands or falls. And he will
stand, for the Lord is able to
make him stand. {5} One man
considers one day more sacred than
another; another man considers
every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own
mind. {6} He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to
the Lord, for he gives
thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks
to God. {7} For none of us lives to
himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. {8} If we
live, we live to the Lord;
and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong
to the Lord. (Rom 14:4-8 NIV)
Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one
another. Instead, make up your mind not to put
any stumbling block or
obstacle in your brother's way. (Rom 14:13 NIV)
For the
joy in the Holy Spirit, {18} because
anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and
approved by men. {19} Let us
therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to
mutual edification. {20} Do not destroy the work of
God for the sake of food. All food is clean,
but it is wrong for a man to
eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. (Rom 14:17-20 NIV)
We who are strong ought to bear with the failings
of the weak and not to please ourselves.
{2} Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him
up.
(Rom 15:1-2 NIV)
13.
Be concerned about the other
person’s interests.
Be completely humble and
gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. (Eph 4:2 NIV)
Each of you should look not only to your own
interests, but also to the interests of others.
(Phil 2:4 NIV)
All of us who are mature should take such a view
of things. And if on some point you think
differently, that too
God will make clear to you. {16} Only let us live up to what
we have
already attained.
(Phil 3:15-16 NIV)
These are Biblical
directives for promoting good communications and relationships with other
people.